A little Yuletide aside. A moment of meditation for commuters on the London Underground.
I have always been intrigued by this somewhat mysterious letterbox. Does anyone actually write to the staff northbound on the Bakerloo Line at Oxford Circus? Love letters perhaps? Commiserations?
http://advantagesofage.com/how-to-complain-in-restaurants
Love it or loathe it, February 14 strikes again – be it with Cupid’s arrow or fear in your heart.
As part of my regal duties, I thought it only right and proper to provide you with some top tips to warm your cockles and ease any pains that might mar this upcoming St Valentine’s Eve.
If you are in a relationship, it could be that your loved one is planning on cooking up a romantic feast (or has a bun in the oven.) And if not, there will be the usual mad scramble to book a table that isn’t a Zizzi or your local take-out joint.
Hopefully your evening will be a delightful melange of tender exchanges and melt-in-the-mouth morsels and the only sour note will be that perfectly formed cocktail by a world-class mixologist.
However, there’s a teeny chance that your meal won’t be quite up to scratch and you will have good reason to complain (although I do not advise this in the case of the Home Cooked Meal.) As it happens, I wrote a piece about restaurant complaining which was published by Which? back in July, which I turned into a little film (and was since featured by those lovely people at Square Meal.)
Remember that your body language says a lot about you and can make the world of difference when complaining about a shoddy service or returning a faulty product. Stand tall, be polite and remember that you are just as important as that Prada-wielding person on the next table or behind you in the customer service queue.
For more apple grumble, the Queen Of Complaints’ complaining tips can be found here
While it is admirable that your rubbish collection team have artistic aspirations, it is quite appalling they have left this amount of rubbish – in fact, they have created more mess than there was to start with. The Pampers box comes from my household, and which I originally put inside the bin. If you look at the photograph, you will see that it is now lying on the pavement, along with all manner of things – empty vodka bottles, cigarette packets – why not throw a used condom into the throng? You must surely be aware that rubbish attracts more rubbish, and if passers-by see litter carelessly strewn on the ground, it is often human nature to treat that area with the same lack of respect.
I am most concerned about this situation. It is – by no means, the first time that this has happened, and I am shocked that this is what we are getting for our council tax. Not only that, as the parent of a small baby, I am deeply concerned that this area outside our building has become a breeding ground for germs.
Please would you investigate the matter as soon as possible.
Many thanks.
Yours sincerely
Dear Mr Philp Thank you for your recent campaign letter. However, I am listed on the electoral roll as ‘Ms’ not ‘Mrs’, and I find it somewhat old-fashioned (not to mention presumptuous) that someone in your admin department felt obliged to alter my title. As it happens, I am married, but I choose to use my maiden name with the ‘Ms’ for the reason that men do not have their marital status mentioned in their title, therefore why should I? I would expect this sort of presumptuous grammar from an estate agent’s mail-out, not from a political party trying to attract new voters. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely
Dear Ms Stone I am very sorry for our mistake, the database that we use is directly from the electoral role (sic), but sometimes there are mistakes made. I have changed your title on the electoral register. Sincere Apologies
Complaint Letter No. 50
The Dissatisfied Woman was asked by a television company to compile a list of the compensation she has received from her complaint letters. Here it is…
Complaint Letter: No. 48
Compensation: £35 Tesco Moneycard
Philip Clarke
The Response:
Dear Ms Stone
Thank you for your letter addressed to Philip Clarke, to which I have been asked to respond. Please accept my sincere apologies for the delay in my reply.
I was very sorry to learn of your disappointment with the Tesco 25 Assorted Pearl balloons you purchased and I regret any upset which was caused when five balloons exploded as you were organising a party.
The samples you kindly returned have now been analysed by our Technical Manager for this product range. She was equally sorry to learn of the problem and has discussed the matter with our supplier. Please be assured all necessary manufacturing controls will be increased to prevent a similar situation happening again.
It is always disappointing when a customer has cause to complain about any of the products we sell and, as a gesture of goodwill for any upset which has been caused, I have enclosed a £35.00 Tesco Moneycard with my apologies and best wishes.
Thank you for bringing this matter to the attention of the Chief Executive. Once again please accept my apologies for the delay in my response and any upset caused.
Yours sincerely
Frances Hickling
Chief Executive’s Office
Complaint Letter: No. 13.
Compensation: Replacement Culinare MagiCan can-opener.
Nick Cornwell
Managing Director
DKB Household UK Ltd.
Bridge House
Eelmoor Road
Farnborough
Hampshire GU14 7UE
14th September 2010
Dear Mr Cornwell
I bought the enclosed Culinare MagiCan can-opener from Waitrose last week, as it looked like a good, sturdy product.
The blades cut into the can well, but unfortunately once the cutting has been completed, the can’s plastic ‘legs’ refuse to open and it is virtually impossible to remove the can. It is especially annoying when trying to remove a tin of tuna fish. I had this misfortune a couple of days ago, and I quite literally had to force the plastic legs of the can-opener apart. Of course the liquid in which the tuna was contained went everywhere – including over me, with everything smelling of fish, which was most unpleasant.
Not only is the product entirely impractical, it is also dangerous, as in trying to prise open the plastic legs of the can-opener, the consumer’s hand can slip and cut themselves on the tin or the can-opener’s blades in the process.
In fact, with the Culinare MagiCan’s reluctance to give over the can (rather like a dog refusing to let go of a stick), perhaps the product should be renamed a ‘Can’t-opener’ or even a ‘Shan’t-opener’.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
Ingrid Stone
complaintsqueen.com 